


Future's Bright (Are You Ready Yet?)

by heyerruh



Series: Adjustment Bureau!AU [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Community: kradambigbang, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-23
Updated: 2011-07-23
Packaged: 2017-10-21 16:38:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyerruh/pseuds/heyerruh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Do we control our destiny, or do unseen forces manipulate us?</i><br/>Adam meets Kris again in the Green Room while he’s doing his vocal warm-ups. Kris, the American Idol during Adam’s season, and the one that got away before Adam even knew he could take.<br/>Kris. He fell in love with Adam during Idol; fell in love with the down-to-earth, fun-loving and out-of-this-world man. Kris had never met a man like Adam and he’s determined to keep him but Katy, Drake, Lane and Sutan are conspiring to keep them apart.<br/>Kris learns he is up against Fate itself and the people running around in sunglasses—what he calls in his head as The Shady Adjusters (get it?)—who will do everything in their considerable power to prevent Kris from being with Adam.<br/><i>In the face of overwhelming odds, he must either let Adam go and accept a predetermined path... or risk everything to defy Fate and be with him.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Future's Bright (Are You Ready Yet?)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for this comes from _The Adjustment Bureau_. I cannot write sex for shit these days. I need a life. LOL. I would like to thank [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/sbb23/profile)[**sbb23**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/sbb23/) for beating this fic up to shape, for dealing with my incessant updates and slight panic attacks as well as my issues with the words _just, really, towards, could and would_. Thank you also to [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/sparklycockles/profile)[**sparklycockles**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/sparklycockles/) for her lovely and beautiful art and for being so patient with my requests. Thank you to  Tolpol B. for giving me an idea for Kradam’s quiet separation, you’re epic, lover! Lastly, thank you to [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/batang_paslit/profile)[**batang_paslit**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/batang_paslit/) , [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/neuroticismette/profile)[**neuroticismette**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/neuroticismette/) and [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/biyancuh/profile)[**biyancuh**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/biyancuh/) for being there for me throughout the whole process of thinking this up and writing it to completion as well as understanding me when I don’t talk to you guys because I’m writing fic. LOL. ILUSFM, bbs. :)
> 
> BTW, check out the amazing art by [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/sparklycockles/profile)[**sparklycockles**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/sparklycockles/) [here](http://sparklycockles.livejournal.com/74973.html)!

 

 **  
**

Adam looks around and sees the people who have come to New York to see him, Kris and Allison. They’re Kradison and Adam is so proud to be part of this trio, this gig that includes the most important people that Adam met on the show.

Everything that comes out of their mouths sounds like goodbye though.

Adam sees that this is the end in the way Allison keeps on jumping back and forth from Adam to Kris, hugging both her _brothers_ and laughing around. It’s in the way she sings out each note, with full force and with all her energy. She’s moving her body to the music, feeling the words that she’s singing, loving her time on this stage with him and Kris. The crowd loves her judging by the way they’re following her every move, and Adam is proud of her. He’s amazed at how much she’s grown since they all entered this phase in their lives and Adam loves that he was around to see her become this strong, young lady who is able to command the stage with the power of her voice.

It doesn’t change the fact that this will probably be the last show that they’ll be together in for a long time. He’s going to miss Allison and he’s really, really going to miss Kris, and he doesn’t know how he’ll keep things together without the comfort Kris offers him when they’re together.

At first, Adam thought that he was the only one feeling the hurt of the upcoming separation but whenever he turns around and looks at Kris, he sees slumped shoulders and fingers tightening around the neck of his guitar. It’s in the way that Kris looks at him through half-lidded and shiny eyes. It’s in the sad smile on his lips when he starts playing “Crazy”, and in the soulful way he sings the word _crazy_. When Adam calls his name and points to him, Kris looks straight at Adam, his smile bright and true, happy and hopeful as if hearing his name from those lips is so very special to him and maybe it is, the same way a touch from Kris gives Adam enough reason to smile and laugh, to feel carefree and able to reach his goals.

Adam walks offstage with Kris, leaving Allison to say her final goodbyes to the crowd. Kris holds onto his waist and Adam mirrors his desperation with the hand grasping at Kris’ shirt. They walk fast, towards the back of the building where their dressing room is. They need privacy and they need it now.

Neither of them looks back to see someone watching them through dark lenses. The eyes behind the frames follow them. With a shake of the head, the mysterious watcher- turns around, opens a door to the supply closet and disappears.

~~~

Adam is sitting on the couch while Kris paces by the door. He stops every few minutes to just stare into space and mumble to himself. It’s getting on Adam’s nerves how Kris is suddenly unsure of what he wants. He’s not talking to Adam but rather sending all this confused energy towards him and it’s driving Adam a little insane. He’s disappointed, of course, since all the courage they both had onstage suddenly dissipated into thin air as soon as they got inside the dressing room.

“Come and sit down, Kris,” Adam says in what he thinks is his most stable voice. It fails when he says the name of his companion, all the emotion that he’s trying to hide coming out in a single name that he’s come to worship.

At the sound of his name, Kris immediately looks in the direction it came from. It’s his learned response to whenever Adam says his name, pronounces the single syllable that Kris never thought would have so much power over him.

Adam is right there. He’s sweaty and he’s breathing faster than normal. His smile from a while ago is gone and is replaced by confusion and the smallest hint of self-disgust. Kris knows this face. This is the face that Adam makes when he thinks that he’s overstepped his boundaries with Kris but doesn’t know how to retract them. This is the face of a person who has lived most of his young life trying to look better so that he’d feel better.

It’s one of Adam’s expressions that is capable of almost bringing Kris to his knees, almost begging to be forgiven for saddening one of the most lovable and accepting people he’d ever met. The bright lights coming from the vanities behind him emphasize Adam’s silhouette and Kris has never been more in awe of Adam’s presence.

Never letting his eyes leave Adam’s, Kris sits beside the one man he knows has changed his life. _Adam_. He’s the only man who has made Kris stop and notice him. He’s the only man who has made Kris believe in the power of love and friendship, of camaraderie and sportsmanship, in a reality game show that’s as literally cut throat as a double-edged blade. Adam is love personified for Kris and it scares him so much since he has a wife. It’s Adam. Since he’s met him, it’s always been “ _Adam._ ”

Kris doesn’t realize that he’s said Adam’s name out loud until Adam looks at him from his side of the couch.

“Kris, look, I—it’s just… What I’m trying to say is—. Oh man. Kris—”

It makes Kris want to giggle with the amount of giddiness he’s feeling. It’s redundant, he knows, but he’s just so happy in this moment, both of them faltering around each other so much just because of the way they feel. He lifts a finger and places it over Adam’s lips and they stop moving.

“I love you too, Adam,” Kris says. It gives a freeing feeling, speaking of your love for another person.

Adam looks at Kris through teary eyes. It’s unbelievable. Kris knew what Adam wanted to say and gave an answer to it. He’s so filled with emotion that he launches himself at Kris for a hug.

Well, he almost launches himself, but Lane enters the room and so Kris and Adam stay where they are, on a couch in the middle of a dressing room, looking around, going for nonchalance and boredom.

“Here you are,” states Lane as if she’s been looking for Adam for a while now. She has her sunglasses on her head and Kris starts thinking about how weird it is to have those there at night and—

“Here I am,” retorts Adam, disrupting Kris’s line of thought. It’s childish and uncalled for; knowing how tired Lane already is but Adam is feeling petulant that his moment with Kris has been interrupted.

“Your buses are here, gentlemen.” Lane is smiling and a part of it scares Kris, probably the glint in her eyes that he tries to ignore.

“I still don’t understand the tour buses. We’re not even going on tour yet and—”

“It’s for formality’s sake, Mr. Allen,” interrupts Lane.

“Call me Kris, please,” answers Kris pleasantly, and Adam gets butterflies from that Southern accent when Lane clears her throat.

“Be out in fifteen,” and with this she promptly leaves the room.

Adam and Kris both know that the moment is gone and so they scramble to gather their things and are out of the room within ten minutes. If anyone else were around, they’d see the attempt at physical contact as well as the failure to achieve it.

Fear of rejection could cause those failures but somewhere in their heads, they think they’ll be given another chance to touch. No one informed Kris or Adam that broken moments like these take time to be remade; maybe they’ll have that chance in a month, maybe it will take a year or even two.

~~~

“Promise me that you’ll call whenever you can, okay?” whispers Adam while he and Kris stand in front of the buses. The fans are gone and they can both finally have some peace and quiet. It’s deafening in the face of goodbye.

Kris starts to nod his head but his control for that movement is overpowered by his inability to stop his body from launching itself towards Adam.

Adam’s warm and cuddly, his skin soft and sinewy beneath understated jeans and a threadbare shirt. In Adam’s eyes, Kris can see his future and Adam’s, one that contains laughs and smiles so alive and real in his head that he can almost reach for it, wrap it in a blanket and nurture it. It’s everything he wants and everything he can’t have because he’s—

“Kris?” comes a whisper from behind him and he turns his head and sees his wife. She’s always been quirky but Kris cannot quite grasp her possible reason for walking around in Ray-Bans at night. It’s too dark.

He lets go of Adam and a sudden burst of cool air blows at the side of his body where Adam had been.

“Yeah?”

“Time to go,” she says and she’s smiling at him. Kris doesn’t remember when he started to think that Katy’s smile is all wrong for him, too understated, too prim and controlled.

Kris craves Adam’s lips all of a sudden and he turns to give Adam another hug when he hears a voice coming from behind Adam.

“Come on, honey. Time to go!” says Drake happily and he’s smirking and attempting to look tempting and lustful, his concentration focused on Adam.

It feels like something vile entered Kris’s mouth at that scene and so he turns around and heads for his wife. As he looks back at Adam, he sees Adam wink at him and give him a wave goodbye before taking Drake’s hand and walking in the other direction.

Kris is unnerved and Adam feels oddly dismissed.

The wave is too final for a see-you-later and the wink barely veils the atmosphere of permanent departure. Suffice it to say, everything is making Kris feel like he’ll never see Adam again.

 

 

Kris walks quietly towards his bus. He’s sad and a part of him is unwilling to leave this life, a life with American Idol and Adam, behind but he knows he must. He entered this world believing in his heart that all he wanted from it was a chance to perform, a chance to share his music with anyone who would listen. Nowhere in his plans did he ever think that he’d meet a person like Adam. He never thought that entering this world would make him doubt everything he used to live for and start searching for a different reality for himself.

There was a time when all he needed was his wife Katy, his guitar right beside her red one, and his family. He was content and he knew he could be comfortable with a life like that. There was a time wherein a single glance at Katy would calm Kris, would make him realize that he’s okay, he’s on the right path to happiness and comfort.

“Katy,” Kris murmurs as he continues to walk.

When no one acknowledges him, Kris looks up. He’s suddenly aware that he’s walking towards his bus alone with his wife nowhere in sight.

 _That’s odd_ , thinks Kris but after looking around and seeing no one there, he walks the next few steps towards his bus. The engine is running, Kris can hear it but no human sound is coming from inside. There’s no laughter from Torres, no banging of stuff by Cale and no shouts about a missing pick from Andrew.

 _I’m probably the first one here_ , Kris thinks as he steps into the open bus door. _They couldn’t possibly be—_

There’s Cale in the middle of closing his overhead compartment. ‘In the middle’ being the operative phrase since he has his arms in midair with the compartment door mid-swing. Cale’s eyes are unseeing and he’s not moving. _Oh darn, Cale’s not breathin’_ … Andrew’s on the bench beside Cale in the middle of his own movement, left hand mid-strum on his guitar and mouth open as if he’s speaking—singing maybe—but no sound is coming from him.

There’s simply no sound and only when he realizes this does Kris start to get terrified, running to the back of the bus to check on the others. A man in a black suit is bending over Chris who is lounging on his bunk, eyes looking up and unmoving.

This is when Kris finally finds the strength to talk.

“Hey!” he exclaims. This surprises the stranger and he straightens up and turns to Kris, walking towards him, silent but focused. Before Kris even has the chance to react and run away, someone hits the back of his head and all is black.

~~~

When Kris comes to, he hears talking. There are three people talking. One of them is Lane and the other one is Drake. _Huh. That’s weird, I thought he left with Adam._ When he opens his eyes, he sees Drake, Lane and a tall, lanky woman that he’s never seen before.

“Raja, they shouldn’t even have had that moment in the dressing room,” says Lane to the unknown woman.

“I’m sorry, darling, I was changing,” reasons the woman nonchalantly. Her voice is deep, like a man’s, but her look is too feminine for her to be a man, right? “Can’t we just ask for a reset?”

“Sometimes I wonder why you’re even part of this project,” says Lane. “There will be no reset. Whatever he wasn’t supposed to see, he saw because of your neglect.”

She then looks towards Kris.

“Mr. Allen! Kris. You’re awake,” she says, her lips straightening after she states the obvious. She faces Drake. “Bullshit him. It’ll work, maybe. Come along, Raja.”

The two head out and close the door behind them. Kris is left with Drake.

 

 

“The good and laidback American Idol. Not even asking why he wakes up tied to a chair,” drawls Drake, his Southern accent noticeable but not strong. He’s leaning against the door frame, looking at Kris, a grim look on his face.

“You weren’t supposed to see that, Kris,” continues Drake and the images of Cale and his other band mates frozen and unmoving on the bus come back to Kris.

“What were you doing to them? Let me go!” and Kris starts to struggle from his bonds but when he looks at Drake, he sees him wave a hand towards Kris and the bonds disappear.

“What were you doing to Cale and the others?”

“We are the people who make sure that your lives go according to plan. It’s nothing personal, we’re just following orders.” Drake looks bored as he explains who they are to Kris, not really invested in the task at hand but doing it nonetheless.

“ _Who the heck are you?_ ” Kris asks before he stands up and tries to run. He trips on a shoe that wasn’t there before. “ _Let me go! Stay away from me!_ ”

“Get up and sit on the chair, Kristopher,” and Kris feels his body following Drake’s words, a surge of energy making him do what he asks.

“What the heck?”

“You really think I didn’t know that you were going to try and escape, Kris?” Drake walks up to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. “I can read your mind.”

He faces Kris and Kris sees he has a smirk on his face. Drake is looking intently at Kris. It’s making him wonder what all the attention is for.

“Kristopher, pick a hair color. _Black._ Pick a song Adam sang on Idol. _Cryin’._ ” Kris is reduced to staring because really, “What the heck is happening here?”

Kris presses his hands over his eyes. He’s confused. He doesn’t know what’s happening and he can’t believe that mind readers exist. It’s mind-boggling and none of his teachers taught him that this was a possibility. It’s outrageo—

“Don’t worry, baby. It’s not your fault. This wouldn’t have happened if your movements were just properly adjusted.” Drake’s voice is calm, almost nonchalant but with a hint of concern. “Adam was supposed to hug Tommy before leaving the stage, giving you time to change backstage and go to the bus without coming in contact with Adam but _someone_ forgot to _rearrange_ the guitar wires properly leaving Tommy concentrating on them.

“What? The wires were supposed to be in the way of a hug? I don’t even—”

“Sometimes, Allen, when a person forgets his phone, trips on the pavement or misses a ride, they think it’s chance and maybe sometimes it is. Other times, it’s us.”

“And sometimes, when these little pushes in the right direction don’t work, a team comes in to help change your mind for you, like with your band,” says Lane as she comes back to the room.

Drake clears his throat. “Onto business, Lane, please.” With these words, Lane gets her phone out, leaving Kris alone with Drake again.

“No one is supposed to see what you just saw, Kris. You say just one word about us and a team comes in to erase who you are. People will think you’re insane while you, well, there won’t be a _you_ ,” says Drake as he circles around Kris.

“Not one word, Kris honey, not to your mom, not to your dad or Daniel. You will talk to no one about me or Lane or we’ll basically lobotomize your brain.”

“And last but certainly not least, it’s time you stayed away from my boyfriend, Kristopher Allen.” There’s contempt in Drake’s words and he looks at Kris with glaring eyes. He reaches a hand into Kris’s pocket.

“Dude, what the hell—,” and Drake’s hand comes out with Kris’s phone.

“Hey man, that’s not yours, put it back—,” and those are the only words Kris is able to let out before Drake drops his phone to the floor and steps on it.

“You have to stay away from him, Kris. You’re never supposed to see him again.”

“What does Adam have to do with anything?”

“It has to do with everything. Lane’s fixed it all, everyone now knows not to let Adam get to you. I’m sorry, Pocket Idol, but your time with Adam is up.” All Kris can do is nod his head. If this is fate then it’s done, he’s not meant for Adam and maybe they’re better off that way.

“Okay then, honey. Raja, put him back,” orders Drake and the tall woman from comes back and pulls Kris to the front of the bus.

When he stands upright, the band is looking at him.

“Dude, why the heck were you lying down on the floor?” Cale’s asking, his overhead compartment finally closed.

“Kris, you just had a concert with Adam. Shouldn’t you be extremely happy right now?” inquires Andrew and the somber look on Kris’s face gets rid of almost everyone’s post-show high.

“Adam’s left. I lost my phone and 19 wants me away from him. That’s the last of Kradam anyone will ever see.”

 

 

Kris is nursing his bottle of beer in a nondescript bar in LA, looking through his contact list for a single person not connected to his management that can help him talk to Adam. He’s tried calling Allison (it just keeps ringing), Tommy ( _you’re an ass Allen, go fuck yourself_ ) and Brad (answering machine).

So far, he’s got nothing, but he needs to keep trying, it’s for Adam and—

“You’re not going to reach him, you know,” and when Kris turns around to see who’s putting down his efforts, he sees Raja. “Sudden bathroom breaks to get them away from the phone, schedule changes and people asking for autographs. Even if they want to help you, they wouldn’t know they needed to.”

“It’s you! You’re with Drake and Lane!” and Kris is rudely pointing at the tall stranger.

“Yes, it’s me. Raja. I’m here and I’m sorry,” and it’s a hardship to see how sorry this person is when her head is held high, her make-up not overly done but still leaving her face beautifully displaying the high cheekbones and dark eyes.

“You had Cale and the others frozen and unmoving!”

“Darling, you better control yourself. Shut up for one moment.”

“What were you doing to them? Why were you poking into people’s brains? It’s not right!”

“We weren’t really doing that. We were just changing the way they evaluated things. We don’t touch your feelings and emotions. Those are yours alone.”

“Who gives you the right to even do that?”

“We need a permit to do it. Special authorization, if you will.”

“Authorization from who?”

“The Chairman,” and Raja looks up when she says this, giving Kris an idea of who it is.

“God?”

“That’s one of the names used to call The Chairman.”

“Why do you all want me to stay away from Adam?” asks Kris in wonder because he does not understand and he wants to.

“We can’t talk about this here, Kris. I’ll see you in Malibu. Paradise Cove Pier, tomorrow at 4.”

Raja slips on her sunglasses, turns towards the door and disappears.

~~~

Kris is walking in the shallow water under the pier, his shorts high enough on his legs to not get wet. The waves don’t hit him strongly but he can feel the force of them every time he steps forward. It’s calming how the movement of the water is strong and expected, predictable and so different from the past day.

“You’re here,” says Raja, who’s a little further out, behind one of the posts.

 

“I came for answers,” and Kris has never craved knowledge this much in his life.

“Ask then and I’ll tell you what I can,” says Raja, walking farther into the water, splashing Kris once in a while. Raja is smiling at him, trying to be carefree, balancing this heavy moment with gestures and expressions that somehow make Kris feel a bit better.

“What were they doing to Cale?”

“They were changing the way he sees you and Adam so that he’ll suggest different locations for your tour to get you as far away from Adam as possible because that’s what needs to happen.”

“But Cale doesn’t hate Adam.”

“Of course he doesn’t, baby,” wetting his hand and flicking all the moisture towards Kris’s face, “they’re fixing his priorities in a way that he’ll think that you and Adam have to grow outside of Idol and of each other.”

“Do you all have the power to read minds?”

Raja laughs, it’s rich and deep. It lulls Kris into a sense of tranquility that he didn’t feel moments ago.

“Drake couldn’t read your mind, hun.”

“But he could! He got the right hair color and song I was thinking!”

“It’s only because he gave you a choice. He directed your mind as to what to think and he sensed it, the same way we sense it when you’re going to go off course from what you’re supposed to do.”

Raja’s expression changes from light to serious in the way her eyes squint a little bit and her eyebrows start to meet, aside from the obvious frown on her lips.

“We’re not around to control your lives. We’re here to make sure that you follow the plan. We’re here to make sure that you _werrrrrk_ with your life right now, with what you have and not be distracted.”

Kris walks up to where Raja is, deeper in the water. He looks up at his companion’s face, peers at the woman who’s helping him out. He cares for Raja now, just because she’s probably in trouble for even giving Kris answers.

“Aren’t they following me now? I don’t think you’re allowed to tell me this.”

“We have to monitor everyone on this planet. We can’t concentrate on just one person and there’s something about water that makes it hard for us to locate you, let alone read you.”

“Are you an angel?”

Raja smirks. “Aww honey, it’s so sweet of you to think that but, darling, no. We’re just people who live longer than normal humans and who help out those who veer away from their paths.”

“Why are you helping me, then?”

Raja lifts a hand and touches Kris’s face and her thumb slides its way across a cheek.

“There’s something about you, Kris Allen. And I’m a friend of Adam’s. I know how he feels about you,” and there’s a sad smile on her face.

“Then why won’t you guys let us be together?” and Kris’s voice cracks, the idea of him not being meant for Adam still coursing through his mind, reminding him that there are things that he can’t control.

“I’m just following orders, hun, and from what I know and see, they’ve done so much to keep you apart. They don’t want all that effort to go to waste.”

Kris puts his hands into his pockets and grips the covered flesh of his thighs just so he won’t lose control. He lets out a sarcastic laugh.

“It’s all part of the plan, Kris.”

It’s like all the energy from Kris disappears from his body and he just kneels on the wet sand. He’s feeling hopeless. Helpless. Worthless. Fate has stated that he and Adam don’t have a chance but he wants to fight and doesn’t know how.

“You’re still going to look for a way to be with him, aren’t you?” There’s unmistakable hope in Raja’s voice, something that Kris needed to hear and didn’t know it.

“There’s no way, Kris. They won’t let you and even if he’s a celebrity too, all you’ll ever be in contact with are recordings of his interviews and websites full of pictures of him.” Raja sighs and continues, “Look at what you have Kris, be happy with it, work with it and cultivate it, there’s something else out there for you, someone else.”

Raja turns to Kris, holds out a hand for Kris to take and when he does, Raja pulls the smaller man towards her and gives him a hug.

“Forget about him, Kris. Go on with your life; it’s better off this way.”

As Kris holds onto Raja, all he can think is, _I can’t. I really can’t_.

 

 

“I’m not going to get it, Lane,” says Adam calmly. He knows that _Just the Way You Are_ and the artist that made it famous, Bruno Mars, are favorites, more than he is right now.

“You have to believe, Adam,” and Adam can hear the wholehearted belief in her voice. She thinks he’s worth this award, this Grammy, and he feels blessed that someone would ever think he’s worth such an accolade but he’s still based in reality, he still knows what can and cannot happen.

“I do believe, Lane, but not in this.”

Lane looks at Adam exasperatedly from the other end of the couch. She looks tired and she probably needs more sleep than he does. “You’re good, Adam. The people love you.”

“It’s not about that, Lane. I know I’m good and I know they love me but I’m not meant for this,” he sighs, “I’ve been nominated for a Grammy, Lane. That’s big in itself!” And Adam means it, he’s so thankful for what he has, so amazed by what he’s been able to reach since Idol a few years ago.

Lane leans her head on the arm of the couch behind her. She looks up and Adam sees her eyes are bright, like she’s about to cry but then she blinks and it’s gone and she pulls her head up, looks straight at him and says, “Okay, Adam,” and Adam exhales and it feels so good. He’s already thinking up a way to spend the rest of his night when Lane stands up with her hands on her hips.

“Go to sleep. You still have an album to write and a show in a few days.”

“But… What show? Ellen?”

“Idol wants you back. You’re singing on the show. I was actually thinking _Sleepwalker_ —”

“ _Aftermath_. I’m singing _Aftermath_. With my whole band.”

“Are you sure? Isn’t _Sleepwalk_ —”

“I’m sure, Lane,” says Adam facing Lane and giving her a sleepy smile with a glint in his eye that he knows she’d learned to understand since she came to handle his career.

“You’re planning something,” she states with a smirk.

“Go home, baby. Lock the door when you leave,” and with this Adam turns and heads for the stairs leading up to his room.

“Good night. Be at the studio by 8!” And she watches Adam climb the stairs, sees the man she believes can be greater than any artist topping the charts now. As she locks up, she reviews his schedule in her head. She knows he’s good and he can be a legend but for him to become that, she has to make sure he follows the path made for him.

She puts on her sunglasses, opens the door and is out of Adam’s house. None of the neighbors see her leave.

~~~

Adam will always be thankful for what American Idol has done for him but sometimes things can be so campy and scripted. Most times he just goes through the motions, lets the practiced actions take him. That’s why this time he doesn’t really understand why he feels like he belongs on this stage right now. It’s almost like he was meant to be here, today, and this day, the moment he sings tonight, will change his life.

Today, the Idol stage is home to him, the one place he knows he can achieve what he’s always dreamed of and the single place that gave him the ability to actually live his dreams.

It’s only rehearsal time and the studio audience isn’t here yet. It’s just him and his band as well as a few of the Idol staff, and Adam can feel that tonight will be nothing short of amazing. He’s been pumping up everyone’s excitement for tonight’s acoustic arrangement; it even needs Tommy and Isaac around to play bass and percussion.

“Dude, you’re smiling at the mic and not singing,” drawls Tommy and Adam turns to look at him and sees his bassist smirking at him. He looks around some more and sees Monte just staring at him, waiting for Adam’s direction, while Isaac has an eyebrow up while he’s beating his hands on the bongo, seemingly nonchalant and ignorant about what’s happening but Adam knows he’s listening.

“I’m sorry, I was just… you know, thinking about…”

“This whole thing, coming back to Idol, being here again, where it all began, blahblah,” continues Monte and then he stops to stare at Adam. Monte’s thinking about what to say next and pondering whether it’s right to say anything at all.

Tommy looks at Monte and understands what he’s trying not to say, what only Tommy can say to Adam and not get an angry walkout or an icy shoulder. Isaac’s looking at all three of them now. He knows he’s missing a certain fact here, something that he couldn’t know because he wasn’t around for it, and now he thinks he’s going to understand what’s really happening. He wants to know why Adam either gets mellow about Idol or just simply frustrated about it.

Tommy clears his throat and the attention is back on him. Monte’s tinkering with his guitar, pretend-tuning it to make it seem that he’s not too vested in the conversation. Isaac does not even try to pretend to not listen and Adam is just looking at his bassist. Adam’s stance is confident and balanced, with his legs apart, a hand on his hip and another in the middle of the mic stand in front of him. His eyes tell another story though. They’re too shiny and they exude the desperation that Adam’s trying not to give off.

Isaac gets sick of waiting though and says, “What doesn’t Adam want Tommy to say?” He looks at his companions and waits. When no immediate answer comes, he continues, “What is it that Monte wouldn’t say?”

Suddenly, it’s all too much for Adam. The place is too familiar and it’s bringing back memories he doesn’t need to remember. The people surrounding him are different this time, they’re people from his own circle, ones who aren’t looking to beat him, ones who aren’t making him fall in love with them and then leaving him.

Adam starts breathing hard. He feels like he’s running in place, trying so hard to make himself move and yet staying in one single place and trying to savor it. He holds onto the mic stand in from of him. He tries to slow down his breathing and uses the microphone as a focal point for all the energy that he doesn’t know how to ground. He brushes a hand through his hair and sighs. He’s almost there, he’s almost relaxing but then Tommy comes up to him and gives him a full body hug and it doesn’t have the relaxing effect that the bassist was going for. Adam feels his breath near his collarbone and he’s momentarily pulled back to a different time with loud cheering people and the most heartfelt hug he’d ever felt on this stage. It’s too much. It hurts and Tommy’s breath is hot and Adam needs to escape.

He pushes away his bassist and runs to the Green Room. He looks back and sees Tommy looking at him weird, Monte looking away and a calculative look on Isaac’s face. He tries to mouth an apology but all that comes out is a strangled sob.

Instead of pushing through with the apology, Adam turns around, breathes deeply and asks the universe for guidance. A part of him wishes he’d find it backstage..

~~~

“Hello? Anyone here?” inquires Adam. He waits for a few seconds and when all he can hear is unmistakable silence, he enters the Green Room and heads straight for the full-length mirror.

He’s evading the truth and he knows that his fear of losing control can be seen in his eyes and so in front of the mirrors, he stares at his shoes and his pants, even his top but he bows his head so that he cannot see his own eyes. He’s not lying to anyone right now. All he’s doing is checking what he’s wearing; looking to see if anything’s out of place.

It’s a ruse really, since he’s wearing something else for tonight’s performance.

The world is still spinning and his sense of balance is near nil. Adam lifts his arms to lean them on the mirror, his sweat causing his hands to slide down a bit before finding purchase parallel to his head. He allows himself to look at his face, to see the semi-hidden pockmarks and the artfully applied eyeliner to make him look sexy rather than sleep deprived and worried.

 _I don’t get it. A few minutes ago, I was happy. Grounded. I knew that this is where I’m supposed to be! Damned Monte. Damned Tommy. Even Isaac’s starting to get an idea that I’m trying to hide something. I mean, seriously, it was a long time ago. But it’s so hard to just let this go. Let. Him. Go. Damnit Adam! How could you go back to this? You’re better than this. You have Sauli! He likes you. He’s there for you. “He’s fucking available, Adam! But no, you keep on going back, thinking of someone you couldn’t fucking have, can’t ever have! Why are you so stupid, Lambert?”_

The sound of a fist hitting the bathroom door floats through the room and Adam’s brought out of his musing. He turns around fast, faces the sound, and frustration frustrated voice flows towards Adam.

“Hello? Who’s there?”

Adam’s almost afraid to find out who has been inside the Green Room with him. The bathroom door swings open and out comes Kris Allen. Kris Allen, the winner to Adam’s runner up, the best friend Adam made on the show and the only person who is in possession of Adam’s heart, and he doesn’t even know it. Everything aches all over for Adam. Seeing Kris again, Adam’s world spins faster and he suddenly feels like puking. He almost topples over when he feels warm and calloused hands holding him up, centering Adam’s weight and his own between them so they could maintain their balance.

“Kris,” whispers Adam.

The hands holding him tighten. They squeeze him as if finding comfort in the simple and claiming touch. Kris looks up at Adam, eyes searching and questioning.

“I heard you,” says Kris awkwardly, “And I was so surprised by what you said and…”

Kris stops and stares at Adam’s eyes. The close proximity of their bodies is maddening for Adam. Kris is here and with him but all the reasons this is wrong, even if they’re not doing anything, are starting to flow through Adam’s brain and he suddenly wants space. He tries to push Kris away and he easily can but the look of utter desperation from Kris stops Adam.

“Wait, Adam—I was so angry about what you said.”

It is fast how Adam goes from acquiescent to outraged and then to confused within a matter of seconds.

“ _Angry?_ At who? Me?”

“Not at you… at myself,” and he sounds so unsure, as if he doesn’t know what he’s saying.

“I—I—A part of me was—was praying. I was praying that you were—that hopefully you were—”

“Spit it out.”

“ _A part of me was praying that you were thinking about me._ But it’s, it’s wrong. Because you have him,” and Kris is breathing deeply, trying to hold onto his breath because everything else is slipping away from him.

Adam almost interjects but Kris puts a finger across his lips and he stays still. Quiet and waiting, as he knows he’s always been.

“…and he has you. When I don’t. I can’t even understand. You—You just—”

“I stopped trying to talk to you. I stayed away. I kept to _my people_ and stayed the fuck away from Idol.”

Kris has to clench his fists to keep from tearing up. Adam opens his mouth as if to continue but Kris shakes his head no.

“You…you stayed the…the…away from—from me,” and Adam lets out a sound as if he was being strangled, unable to breathe and yet fighting to survive from the onslaught of memories that living without Kris has caused him.

Heavy breathing, that’s the only thing that can be heard within the room. Adam and Kris are staring at each other. Kris with pain written all over his face. Adam with barely repressed anger on his.

“You never answered, Kris!” Adam exclaims and Kris’s shoulders hunch down some more, his body trying to fold into himself.

“I didn’t have to stay away. All I had to do was call to know that you didn’t care.” His words ring through the room, circling Kris and driving in the point that he does not want to acknowledge. If Adam was breathing hard before this, he is hyperventilating now. His lips are pursed and his eyes are wide.

Kris exhales loudly, trying to say something to Adam but Adam holds up a hand before turning his back on Kris.

“All I had to do was listen to the operator say that I dialed an unused number to know that you weren’t in my life anymore,” Adam lets out in a murmur. “If you think about it, the operator’s right too. You could not be reached.”

“Man, I just—I couldn’t call. They just wouldn’t let me,” reasons Kris. It’s not enough of a reason. He should have fought for Adam, fought for the one person who makes him feel normal and precious at the same time, fought for them.

“They, Kris?” Adam voices out unbelievingly. “Who could have possibly stopped you?” _Didn’t I matter enough to you for you to fight for me?_ Adam secretly asks. It’s a pathetic question. It’s something that he shouldn’t even think about but his heart is calling for an answer, a reason for its rejection.

How could Kris ever tell Adam that it was Drake, Lane and Raja who were stopping him? _How do you tell someone that you love them but that you’re not destined for each other and not sounding like you’re looking for an excuse?_ If things had been different, if only Kris wasn’t reminded everyday by his wife, even though they are separated and the world doesn’t know, how being with Adam would ruin both their lives. _“If only.”_

“If only what, Kris?” and Kris realizes that he’s said his deepest wish out loud.

“Can I even do anything to change things, Adam?” inquires Kris, his eyes staring pleadingly at Adam, asking for another chance at a life together and maybe love. Adam’s eyes are looking at everything but Kris, roaming around the room until he concentrates on the counter, the sheen of the marble reminding him of stars on a clear night sky. It gets his attention for a few seconds before Kris touches his arm, imploring him to answer the question.

It would have been easy to just say no, leave this bathroom full of dreadful memories and broken promises and go outside to a reality that he can somehow control, to the people he knows won’t leave him, not like Kris did but as everything in his world has changed this is the only part that has not. He still needs this man, still loves him and wants him in his life.

“Yes, Kris,” murmurs Adam. “We still have time,” and Adam means it. He’s shouting it in his head, finally believing that Kris is here and could be his. It’s a breath of fresh air to be able to say this, to know that maybe there is a life for them.

Adam’s words are soft and Kris wouldn’t be able to hear them if they were in a crowded place. He can feel them flow towards him, tendrils of lust and affection caressing his face and engulfing him in a love he never thought he’d feel again. He steps forward but before he even reaches Adam, Adam’s there. Adam’s there in front of Kris and all they can do is engulf each other in a hug that is almost two years too late.

They were never even supposed to part, at least that’s what Adam thinks. What Kris knows and thinks is altogether different.

~~~

There’s a knock on the door and the sound of a key being put into a lock. It opens and it’s a tall guy with pronounced cheekbones, his hip jutting out a little on one side and a look of annoyance on his face.

“Uhm, Adam,” says Kris as he pokes Adam’s side with a finger, his arms still firmly wrapped around Adam.

“Gerawayr,” says Adam, his lips on Kris’ clothed shoulder. His breath is warm and it makes Kris want to giggle.

“Adam, honey, time to get ready,” says the tall stranger by the door.

“Oh, Sutan!” exclaims Adam as he lets one arm drop from the hug he has Kris in and faces the door.

“Kris, this is Sutan, the person in charge of my make-up and hair!” and Adam faces Kris with a grin that brightens the room. “Sutan, this is—”

“I know who won during your season, Adam. It’s nice to meet you, Kris,” Sutan puts his hands on his hips and continues, “Adam, come on, we need to beat your face properly for tonight.”

Sutan raises an eyebrow at Adam; nods at Kris and is gone before Kris or Adam can even react.

“Beat your face?” comes Kris’s horrified voice as Adam says, “I need to go.”

They stare at each other and laugh.

“You should go, Adam,” says Kris with a smile.

“You’ll be here when I get back?” Adam asks.

“In the bathroom? Never knew you were that kinky, Lambert,” jokes Kris and Adam’s smile widens.

“I’ll tell you about all my kinks later, Arkansas, and then we’ll talk some more,” Adam’s arms are tight around Kris, too afraid to let go but knowing he has to. He forces his arms to let go, and with a kiss on Kris’s forehead, Adam’s gone.

As Kris faces the mirror, he frowns and wonders.

 _I’ve seen Sutan before, I think._

He doesn’t have a good feeling about this and when moments later Lane comes for him, Kris realizes who Sutan is. _Raja._

~~~

When Adam gets backstage after he sings on the Idol stage, Kris is nowhere in sight.

Adam dejectedly locks himself in his dressing room and stares at the wall.

It’s about an hour and a half before Tommy finds him.

“What’s wrong, Adam?”

“He left again, Tommy,” says Adam in a voice that relays how despondent and crushed he feels.

“He was here?” asks Tommy, walking towards where Adam is lying on his side on the floor in between the couch and the wall. He’s still wearing the outfit he performed in but half of his make-up is smudged. A black line trails from his eyes to the floor, the only sign that he’s crying. There’s no shaking, no sound. His sadness is evident only to himself and the world is none the wiser.

Adam hums in agreement.

The door opens and in comes Sutan.

“I’m sorry, honey,” he says because that’s all he can say. He’s only following orders, believing that he’s doing what is right for Adam, what is the best for both him and Kris as well as everyone else. He’s never professed to be religious but he still believes in a higher power and The Chairman is a higher power.

“It’s not your fault, Sutan.” Adam sighs, his whole body trying to get in as much oxygen as he can and it’s still not enough. “You didn’t make him leave, he did that on his own… _how could I have been so stupid?_ ”

No one answers; instead Sutan sits on the floor and places Adam’s head in his lap as Tommy situates himself behind Adam, awkwardly spooning him. It’s the only comfort they can think to give.

Tommy knows Adam’s in love with Kris but right now he doesn’t like him. He doesn’t understand why he has to come back and break his friend’s heart all over again. He doesn’t understand why he has to throw Adam’s heart back in his face for the second time, when the first time had almost rendered Adam unwilling to live.

“I can do this, right?”

“Do what, honey?” Sutan asks but he already knows what Adam’s going to try to do. He’s read it on the mirror of his travel make-up kit but he knows it bears asking.

“I can forget him again. Live without him,” _Breathe without him_ but Adam doesn’t say that out loud because he’s not even sure himself if he can do that. It was hard to do before; it will be monumentally difficult now.

“You know you never forgot him, baby,” chastises Tommy.

Adam’s breathing sounds strangled after that. He knows what he did and didn’t do. He knows how he failed to save himself from the disaster that was Kris Allen.

“You can do it, Adam. Not forget him, no, but you can live without him. You have us, we’ll help you,” soothes Sutan. He doesn’t believe his words though and they come out strained and weak. He cards his fingers through Adam’s hair, trying to make Adam realize what he has and what he can have without Kris. He doesn’t believe but he has a job to do, lives to make it better by making it a little bit worse for now. “You have Sauli; he can make you happy.”

They all stay there in silence. Not moving and not talking. There are no words needed to describe a broken heart.

Everything is silent as Adam tries again to heal.

~~~

 _It’s like you don’t learn, Kris Allen._

 _He hired you to schedule his life! Not plan it!_

 _I’m around so he’ll have a life, Kris, so he’ll get to do what he wants and reach the goals he set for himself._

 _Why are you making me leave him?_

 _Don’t you get it? You’re in the way of his happiness!_

 _I can make him happy._

 _No Kris. You inspired him during Idol. That’s it. He doesn’t need you anymore._

 _I love him._

 _Then stay away from him. Let him be happy._

 _How sure are you about the plan? How sure are you that what is written there is right?_

 _…_

 _You’re not! So just let me go back to him!_

 _I’m sorry, Mr. Allen, but I can’t do that._

 _I need to get back to Adam._

 _Go back to your wife._

Kris then blacks out and when he opens his eyes again, he’s back in his LA apartment, alone and in anguish. The sun is peeking through the blinds of his bedroom window.

It’s too late. For the second time in his life, he’s walked away from the one who owns his heart. For the second time in his life, Adam will think Kris left him and this time, Kris doesn’t know how to fix it.

He wasted his second chance by letting Lane take him. He’ll do anything to get another if it means he can keep Adam.

 

 

His ceiling is a boring white and his bed, while comfortable, is too plain and itchy. He’s alone on the bed as he has been for a while now. Katy is in her room. They haven’t acted like husband and wife since Kris woke up alone in this apartment, calling out to Adam and only hearing the echo of his voice as a reply.

Since then, he’s called on Katy and asked her to live with him again. It’s not really the relationship he’s after and Katy knows it but she gives Kris this since it will create the stability that Kris’s persona needs. It’s a sham of a marriage but it’s still legal on paper.

Kris sighs, swiping his hand over his face, and rolls onto his side. He closes his eyes and for a moment, everything is quiet and calm. It’s hard to remind yourself of the reasons why things are the way they are but Kris does so, everyday. He still believes though.

He reaches for his phone on the night table beside the bed and checks his schedule for the day. The finale for the tenth season of American Idol is today. Kris doesn’t really want to go but his PR insists. Katy is giving him the evil eye and asking him to go too. He doesn’t know if Adam will be there.

As he sees it, the day could end in two ways. He could go to the show expecting Adam to be there and not see him, leaving him with a broken heart—or he could go to the show not expecting Adam to be there but see him there and have Adam ignore him, resulting in a broken heart.

“The difference being what exactly,” mumbles Kris as he gets up to get ready.

~~~

When Kris finally emerges from his room, ready for the show and inwardly still begging not to go, Katy is already by the door and waiting for him. She’s wearing a short white dress with her blonde hair in curls and touching her shoulders.

“You look beautiful, Katy,” says Kris because he _is_ still allowed to say that since she _is_ still technically his wife.

When Katy turns around and faces Kris, he can’t help but gasp at the sunglasses she is sporting on her face.

“Uh, Katy…” he mumbles.

“Too much?” Katy asks lightly.

Kris nods, images of people in sunglasses taking him away from the image of Adam stuck in his head.

“You’re prettier without them,” Kris whispers as he walks towards the door and opening it.

“Let’s go.”

Katy puts her sunglasses inside her purse and follows him.

~~~

On the red carpet, Kris and Katy are the perfect couple. Smiling at each other and pleasantly engaging the paparazzi, the Allens walk towards the building as if there’s nothing wrong and for a while, maybe there isn’t. It’s a little bit like they used be.

Everything goes smoothly until Kris gets a glimpse of black hair with brown tips piled high on top of a very tall person. In that instant, Kris knows that Adam is there.

He starts walking fast, pulling Katy with him, races towards Adam.

Kris is almost to Adam, ready to call out to him. He’s released Katy’s hand.

 _Kris is almost there. Tell Adam it’s a good idea to hold Sauli’s hand._

At the sight of Adam smiling and holding his boyfriend’s hand, Kris pauses. It hurts because he knows that should be him. Adam’s Finnish boyfriend isn’t supposed to be the one enjoying this event with Adam. It should be Kris.

He pauses and a hand settles on his shoulder. He turns to face the owner and sees his wife.

“He’s moved on, Kris,” whispers Katy and Kris is shaking his head no.

 _Lane, encourage Sauli to kiss Adam._

 _I can’t. It will create too many ripples. It’s over your limit._

Make him move faster through the line then.

When Kris looks up again, he sees Adam with a hand on the small of Sauli’s back, leading him away from the whole block of photographers and towards the Nokia Theater.

It gives Kris hope though, that when Adam and Sauli reach the corner before turning right into the theater, Adam lets go of Sauli and walks a few steps in front of him. He wants so much to run to them but a bunch of photographers start focusing on him and Katy so he smiles at them, as politely as he can at least. Right now, they’re just really in the way.

 _Make him look towards Kris now._

Lane goes up to Adam and seemingly points his vision towards the crowd and there he sees Kris and Katy. Smiling at the photographers. Katy has an arm on Kris’s shoulder and he’s holding her waist.

Adam’s eyes widen. He turns back to the theater.

He doesn’t need to know whom he was left for. He doesn’t need to know that Kris is happy that he left Adam.

Adam knows.

 _Good job, Lane._

“So what else, Kris Allen? What’re you working on right now?”

Kris is tired of answering this question. He’s answered this question three times for the same guy and only when the interviewer shakes the microphone in Kris’s face does he see the sunglasses dangling from the guy’s bag.

“So, you’re one of them?” Kris groans. “Get out of my face, man.”

Kris walks to Jim Cantiello and asks, “hey buddy, is this guy really one of yours?”

When they both look for the repetitive interviewer, no one’s there.

Jim raises an eyebrow at Kris.

“I was just kidding, man! See you inside,” and with a wink at Jim, Kris holds Katy’s hand and walks to the theater. Adam’s inside, there’s still a chance.

~~~

When Kris gets inside the theater, the crowd overwhelms him. He knows that American Idol attracts a lot of attention but this crowd is big and it makes it harder for Kris to locate Adam. As he scans the people in front, he spots Adam in the midst of it all with his boyfriend beside him.

Kris steps away from Katy and wades through the crowd to reach Adam. He’s almost there when a familiar face interrupts him.

“Allison!” exclaims Kris. Seeing his and Adam’s little sister brings back memories and so he engulfs her in a hug.

“Hey bro! How are you?” she asks smilingly at him. “Where’s Mrs. Pocket Idol?”

Her question reminds Kris of his wife and he looks back to where he came from. Katy is nowhere in sight.

“She was…uh, right behind me,” mumbles Kris timidly, his hand reaching for the back of his neck.

“Oh, she’s probably just around here somewhere. She’ll find you later,” declares Allison understandingly.

“Uhm, I see Adam, I’m gonna go and say hi, okay? I’ll talk to you later.”

Allison smiles at him and nods her head as she starts towards, what Kris guesses is, her own seat. When he lets his eyes travel back to where he last saw Adam, he sees him seated and already anticipating the show.

 _If he sits near Adam, it’s over. Anything we do will create ripples beyond our limit._

Kris is almost to Adam’s seat when Lane appears in front of him.

“What?” Kris asks, exasperated.

“What are you doing, Kris? We already talked about this!” Lane says in a whisper, raspy and with force. She’s angry and frustrated.

“It’s been a few months? I didn’t plan this?” reasons Kris because really, if he and Adam weren’t meant to be, coincidences like this shouldn’t happen.

“Stay away from him, Kris,” Lane pleads softly. She’s not using force anymore, only the frustration of wasted efforts backing up her voice. She looks tired and frazzled. For a moment, Kris thinks of following what she’s saying until he realizes what that would entail.

“Why? Why can’t I be with Adam, Lane?”

“Because it’s not part of the plan, Mr. Allen,” and the formality in her voice makes Kris look at her, really take in the features of the woman in front of him.

She’s trying to look him in the eye, but she’s shaking, as if she can’t handle what she’s looking at. Her breathing is harsh and heavy puffs are coming from her nose as well as her lips. She’s worked for this purpose for so long but she doesn’t know why and Kris can see it.

“You don’t even know, do you?”

“Doesn’t the fact that you’re not fated explain it enough? What other reason are you looking for?” By the tone of her voice, the last word coming out as more of a growl than spoken word, Kris knows she’s tired and irritated.

“If we’re not meant to be, if Adam and I are meant for different lives…different people, then why do I feel like this every time I see him? Why is it that every time you tell me I have to be with her, I just want to fight it…fight _you_ , fight _fate_ just to be with him?”

Having said all he can to Lane, Kris gives her a nod and heads towards Adam.

 _What if someone else sits behind Adam?_

 _It’s too risky and at this rate, it will just look weird. Kris is one of the last to take a seat._

 _I don’t know what else to do with this guy._

Kris is about to say hi to Adam when a voice from behind him interrupts.

“Adam!”

Adam turns, looking for the person calling to him. It’s the single person he envies, the only one who has a right to Kris.

“Hey, Katy-cat,” he says and if it lacks the energy of a joyful long-time-no-see-hello, no one comments. Not Adam. Not Sauli. Apparently, not even Kris.

 _What is she doing?_

He hugs Katy, arms curling around her shoulders but he’s barely into the action. Adam stares at Kris as he takes his seat, his eyes full of the hurt and pain he’s been trying to hide, only visible to the one person who could cause so much.

“I better take my seat then, show’s about to start,” Adam whispers to Katy and she smiles at him. Soulful hazel eyes. Perfect teeth. Flawless skin. Beautifully curled blonde hair. She’s perfect. _For Kris._ Not waiting for an answer, Adam steps back from her, passing in front of Kris, nodding at him and taking his seat in front of him.

There’s nothing more that can be said.

~~~

 _Lane goes backstage with the stagehand escorting her. She’s pressing on the screen of her iPhone when she feels a familiar presence beside her._

 _“Years later and I’m still trying to fix Kris and Adam, Sutan.”_

 _Sutan looks at Lane and then bows his head. He has his reasons. He knows he should have just followed the plan but something about Kris and Adam made him believe in a different world, in free will and the ability to write your own future._

 _Without another word, Lane enters the dressing room._

 _Inside, she finds a long hallway of vanities, each table with a decade printed on it. As she walks to the middle of the room, a full-length mirror appears in front of her and beside it, Adam’s ex-boyfriend._

 _“Have you ever been here, Lane?” questions Drake, the smirk on his face saying he already knows the answer. “Of course you haven’t,” Drake continues, his fingers moving along the surface of the mirror._

 _“Look here, this contains Kris and Adam’s lives. What they did, what they could have done and what they didn’t do. Now if you look through here, see these dots here? It points to the fact that in earlier plans, they were meant to be together. It’s the same in the 1980’s where they were supposed to bump into each other in Disneyland, in the 1990’s on a fieldtrip to the Magic Kingdom, and in the 2000’s on a trip to Europe, Kris for missionary work and Adam for “Hair.””_

 _Drake swipes his finger from the farthest dot on the left to the right and images of Adam and Kris meeting and seeing each other flash through the mirror._

 _“Now, in 2008, Adam was supposed to stay with Brad but instead, they break up and Adam is single while he’s on Idol where he gets to know Kris.”_

 _“What happened? Why did the plan change so drastically?” Lane asks._

 _“No one knows, it’s just written that way and this explains why they keep bumping into each other. Chance. Coincidence. None of that. The old plans are reflecting themselves on the present one, pushing them together, making them see what could have been.”_

 _“So we were bound to fail?” inquires Lane, her irritation clearly reflected in her voice._

 _“It was a challenge, something you asked for. I’m sorry, Lane, but yeah, you failed.”_

 _Drake touches the mirror and turns his back on Lane. As Lane heads out though, Drake has one last thing to tell her._

 _“Leave everything to the wife. This is her job now.”_

 _Lane feels a pang of fear for Adam and Kris. Dealing with Katy, it wouldn’t be easy. When she’s done with them, there’ll be nothing left, not even the shadow of the friendship they used to have._

 _“Are you sure?”_

 _“It’s the only way. We must follow the plan.”_

 _With a nod of Lane’s head, she’s out of that room._

 

 

During the commercial break, Katy leaves for the powder room while Sauli heads outside to take a call. Adam doesn’t feel comfortable. Kris is behind him and it’s both the best and worst place for him to be.

It has only been a few months since Kris left Adam reeling from what he thought would be the start of their happily ever after. What happened instead was another goodbye combined with the broken pieces of Adam’s hopeful heart. There’s a considerable space between Kris and the back of Adam’s chair but judging by the hot puffs of air that Adam feels on his nape, Kris is near. Nearer than he’s been in months and nearer than Adam ever wants him to be.

When a hand touches his shoulder, Adam merely looks at it and exhales. He’ll wait for Kris to say something first because he can, because he’s waited for so long for something that he knows will probably never come at this point.

Of course, Kris Allen has never followed the patterns that Adam thinks he will. As Adam remains silent, Kris’s hand moves, effectively wrapping Adam’s neck in an awkward hug. It’s uncomfortable and to anyone looking, it probably looks as if Kris is trying to choke Adam but the warmth coming from Kris surrounds Adam. Envelopes him with a sense of love and friendship as well as a sense of coming home, sensations he hasn’t felt since Kris left the Idol studios months ago.

With a deep exhalation of the breath that Adam didn’t know he was holding, he reaches up a hand to touch Kris’s, gripping it and pulling it to his lap, so that the only comfortable place for Kris is beside Adam. As Kris moves to sit next to him, he entwines his fingers with Adam’s. Kris watches Adam, as Adam keeps his gaze on the stage. They’re quiet and mostly unmoving, waiting for the show to start and for their heartbeats to go back to normal.

For the rest of the break, they stay that way. Words will come later.

~~~

“So…” mumbles Kris and the fingers of his right hand curl into a fist while the fingers of his left tighten around Adam’s.

It’s the second break and right now, the tension is too much. Words have to come out but neither Kris nor Adam knows how to start.

“So…” repeats Adam as he turns to look at Kris.

“I’m sorry, Adam, I—”

“Can we please not start with apologies, Kris?” Adam asks, his lips forming a small sad smile.

“Then, what do you want me to say?”

“Tell me why, Kris,” whispers Adam and the smile scares Kris. Adam’s accepted the situation and Kris just can’t have Adam thinking that he left because he didn’t love Adam.

“19E didn’t want me around you,” Kris tries.

Adam shakes his head, no. “Try again.”

“I have a wife.”

“Didn’t stop you before.”

“I’m scared that I wouldn’t be able to make you happy,” mumbles Kris.

Adam doesn’t have an answer to that. He just tightens his hold on Kris.

“I’m scared that when we finally have each other, we’ll tear each other apart. I won’t be enough for you since I’m me and you’re you and those aren’t equal, not at all. I have a wife and you have a boyfriend and what if I—what if you regret leaving him to be with me? I…I wouldn’t forgive myself for making you sad,” babbles Kris, his heart on his sleeve and all the love he feels for Adam in his eyes.

Adam’s eyes widen as he listens to Kris, feeling himself fall in love even more. Adam knows he never stopped, that his heart belongs to Kris, has always belonged to Kris.

“Thank you, baby,” Adam whispers on the hand he lifts to his lips.

“For what?” There’s a quizzical look in Kris’s eyes.

Adam pulls Kris into a hug. His arms tightly wound around Kris’s neck as Kris immediately wraps his around Adam’s waist.

 _For loving me. For coming back. For fighting for us. For you._ Adam’s not ready to say it out loud yet but it’ll come, this time, he feels like it will.

~~~

 _We should go out._

 _Like on a date?_

 _We’ll be on a date, if you say yes._

 _Then, no._

 _What? Why?_

 _We have to fix ourselves up for dates. Prepare for it and be all giddy and stuff._

 _I thought you liked fixing yourself up?_

 _I do._

 _Then why don’t you want to go out with me?_

 _Preparing entails…separation._

 _Mhm. I see. What do you suggest then?_

 _Let’s hang out._

 _Dude, that’s exactly like going out._

 _No! I mean, let’s go hang out. At my house. After the after party._

 _Like, a house date then?_

 _Yes, Kris, exactly._

 _Will—will Sauli be there?_

 _He doesn’t live with me, baby._

 _Then I’m game._

 _Won’t Katy mind?_

 _It’s not public knowledge but we’re separated, Adam._

 _Should I even ask why?_

 _Nah._

 _Are you okay?_

 _With you, I’m more than._

 _Cheesy ass._

 _You love it._

 _Mhm.._

 _Your house then?_

 _Later, baby._

 _Later._

~~~

Sitting on the couch with Adam is amazing. Leaning against him, Kris thinks this is the best place to be. The television’s volume is turned down and the lights are relaxing, mellow and dim.

It’s mostly how they started as friends and it’s almost poetic that this is how they’ll start as lovers. Adam’s lips are brushing against Kris’s temple and his arm is rubbing Kris’s arm, providing warmth and acceptance.

“I still can’t believe we’re actually here.”

“Here as in, your house?”

“Here, as in, together.”

Kris turns to Adam and hugs him, places his cheek against Adam’s and breathes slowly.

“I’m here, Adam. I’m here,” Kris whispers against Adam’s ear.

“You’re here…” sighs Adam, his grip on Kris’s arm tightens. “But…will you—will you stay?” Adam’s voice is vulnerable, too scared to trust Kris again. He still does not believe that Kris is here for him, that Kris loves him at all. Kris can be here now but Adam knows that he could go away again, disappear and leave Adam broken and more impossible to fix every time.

“For as long as possible. For as long as I’m allowed.”

“For as long as I want you around?”

“Maybe even longer…” says Kris shyly. He’s not really sure how long this is going to last, if it even will but he knows he’s willing to fight for it because in this little bubble he has with Adam, he feels complete.

Kris pulls away from Adam’s cheek to face him. His lips are hovering over Adam’s, their breaths mixing.

Adam can’t take it anymore. He just has to say it, tell Kris how he feels or his chest will burst open with the gravity of what he’s feeling.

“I—,” Adam breathes against Kris’s lips.

Kris leans forward, his lips connecting with Adam’s. Close-mouthed and chaste, it’s the best kiss they’ve ever had.

~~~

Three days later, Adam is stuck in L.A. while Kris is in Washington.

“Is it possible to miss you already?”

“Course it is, I missed you even before I left,” and Kris says it so matter-of-factly that Adam’s heart lands on the floor, a puddle of glittery rainbow-colored liquid.

“Aww, Kris, baby don’t do that,” Adam says with a laugh.

“Or what?” asks Kris cheekily.

“Or I might just fly to Washington and take you away from your hotel so I can keep you,” and it’s said with as much conviction as Adam can muster because he’s really feeling that way. He wants Kris here and now, beside him and surrounding him, loving him and consuming him while Adam lets him.

“Oh darlin’,” whispers Kris, barely audible.

Adam lets out a quiet yawn.

“You’re still tired from partying last night; I should probably let you go.”

Something about that urges Adam to stay awake and speak up. His fears are still real and still there and Kris letting go of him is the least of his wishes.

“Please don’t,” comes out of Adam and it sounds like a plea and a prayer, desperate and heartfelt in its simplicity.

“Oh, oh. Adam, baby, no. Not like that. Just to sleep, that’s all I meant.”

“Stay on the line until I fall asleep?”

“Probably even after,” and that brings a grin on Adam’s face and he falls asleep to Kris singing about how it’s time they’ve won.

 

 

“Kris,” Katy calls out as Kris passes in front of her. It’s only when she holds onto his arm that he stops and realizes she was even talking to him.

“Yeah?” Kris tentatively says because he doesn’t really want to talk to Katy right now, not when he’s on an Adam-high and especially not when he’s still figuring out how to tell her he wants a divorce. He pulls his arm from her grip and for a moment he sees a look of disbelief pass through her face.

"What is it, Katy?"

“I know what you’re doing, Kris. I’m not stupid and you know it.”

Kris's eyes widen and it scares him how much conviction and calm is behind Katy's words.

“I—I don’t know what you mean, what—what are you—,” stammers Kris because he doesn’t know what to say to make things right by her and still be able to have Adam.

Katy turns her back on Kris as she looks out the window of their 20th floor hotel room.

“Stop it, Kris. You don’t need to lie to me because I know about you and Adam, I’ve known for years," and Katy turns around to face Kris again.

All the color drains from Kris's face as he sees Katy sporting sunglasses. Kris steps back, suddenly scared of and infuriated with the person standing in front of him. The repulsion in his voice is something he doesn’t even try to control.

“ _You’re one of them!_ ” he exclaims. His fear is palpable from the words that come out of his mouth, and the almost pure hate that takes over his face is enough to make Katy cringe momentarily.

“I’m not sorry, Kris, I was just doing my job,” she whispers, supposedly words of conviction yet backed with nothing but blind loyalty to the cause.

“I was just a job to you, Katy?” For that moment, those are the only words Kris can utter. He’s confused. His almost ex-wife, whom for a certain number of years he’s thought he loves, has practically been shaping his life in a way that she believes is right and in a way he never thought he’d abhor this much, in this moment.

“I love you, Kris, enough to do this for you!” Katy exclaims, her whole body folding into itself, her arms hugging her torso and her eyes looking at him, almost pleading with the brightness coming from within them. It works, almost, but she looks down when he stares at her too long and he knows she’s lying not for herself but for the cause that wants him away from Adam.

“Do what? Lock me into a marriage that you knew wasn’t really meant for me? Talk me out of what I have with Adam?”

“It will end badly, Kris!”

“Why won’t you all let me try? What’s the worst thing that can happen if Adam and I pursue this relationship?” Kris’s voice cracks from the plea coming out of his lips. He wants Adam, needs him and all he’s really asking from these people in sunglasses is to let him try.

“You’ll leave me,” Katy tries.

“That’s not it, Katy, and you know it.” Kris sits on the bed with his hands in his hair, his fingers pulling at the strands they’re holding. It stings a bit, the act of pulling one’s hair, but it allows Kris to get mad, to let go of all the frustration and hurt he’s feeling. “Just tell me why,” he begs her. “Why can’t I choose for myself? Why can’t I choose Adam?”

Katy sits beside Kris. Instinctively, he puts some space between them because right now, he just can’t have her too close, knowing that she’s one of the people trying to destroy his only source of happiness aside from his music. She lifts her hand to pull at one of his, disentangling his fingers from his hair in the process and placing it on her lap. Kris tries to pull away from her touch but she holds it firmly, her thumb brushing at the ring that he still wears.

“You still wear it,” she sighs.

Kris looks away.

“Our marriage actually meant something to me.” He knows he sounds bitter and angry but this is how he chooses to cope.

“You have to understand that I didn’t enter this relationship with you just to get you away from Adam. I can’t definitely pinpoint when or how but along the way, I grew to love you.”

“If you love me, answer my questions, Katy. Tell me _why_.” It’s the lowest blow that Kris has ever dealt in the several years that they have been together and yet Katy lets it slide, doesn’t falter in the way she caresses his wedding ring.

“Kris, before everything else, before me and before your music, you concentrated on helping out other people. You went on missionary trips and helped build schools and houses for those who needed them.”

Kris nods.

“And now, with your songs, you’re helping people too. You write and you sing. Your fans love you and who you are to them. One day, you’re meant to be great—”

“You’re still not answering the question, Katy. I don’t get it, why did you even let me audition for American Idol if you knew that this was what could happen? I’m pretty sure you foresaw this happening and—and Adam. Why’d you guys even let me meet Adam?“

“He was there to inspire you during the show, to help you out with your song choices and to provide just the right amount of affection and love you needed to excel, enough for you to win, Kris. After the Idols Tour, you were supposed to go straight to the studio to write and record your music and live your life as a happily married man. Adam was supposed to be out of the picture but you held on tight, Kristopher. You wouldn’t let go.”

“We didn’t even get to finish the tour, you _Shady Adjusters_ just went in and broke us apart,” Kris says as a sarcastic smile appears on his lips. “Get it? Shady adjusters?” and he laughs, his shoulders shaking while his hands gripped on the bed sheets.

“Kris, baby, calm down.”

That makes Kris stop his off-putting laughter. He stares at her.

“Maybe I shouldn’t say anything else?”

“Please continue,” Kris says, his voice grating to Katy’s ears. This isn’t Kris, her kindhearted and loving husband, this Kris is hurt, confused and betrayed, and Katy knows she’s at fault.

“Well, aside from winning American Idol, you’re meant to win multiple awards and become the highest-earning songwriter in America. The money that you earn from all of this, a part of it, will go to a charity that will one day change the world.”

“And Adam? What does he have to do with all this?”

“He distracts you, Kris. He pulls all your attention towards him and you’ll lose sight of what’s important. That’s why can’t be together.”

Kris succeeds in pulling away from Katy. He clasps his hands together in front of him and then looks her straight in the eye.

“He’s worth it, because I love him. I’ll do anything for him because for the first time in my whole life, I can just be me, and he loves me. I don’t have to be perfect for him to love me, he just does. This feeling is worth everything and I choose this over whatever I’m meant for.” Kris stands, suddenly energized and very willing to work for what he wants. “Somebody else will donate for that cause, not just me. That charity will still be around to save the world and someone else will support it. I’m not sorry that I choose Adam, Katy, I won’t ever be sorry for choosing him.”

Katy stares at Kris, looks at her watch and then back to Kris.

“If you go now, you can still fetch him from LAX. I called Lane and told her that you’ll pick him up,” she pauses and smiles at him. “I knew you were going to choose him, Kris, so go on.”

Kris doesn’t move as he processes what she just said and then, “Thank you, Katy-cat.” He gives her a kiss on the cheek before he grabs his jacket and is out the door within seconds.

Katy sighs. She can give him the next couple of days.

 _I should probably prepare what I’m wearing this weekend._

She picks up her sunglasses, heads towards their bathroom door and turns the knob to the left.

 _Off to the office then._

The empty bathroom is proof of who and what Katy Allen is. She’s a Shady Adjuster, as Kris puts it, and she’s pretty good at her job.

~~~

Kris has always thought that Adam was a fierce performer. He gives his all to every song he sings and the crowd feels the emotions coming from the song towards their hearts through his voice.

While watching Adam from backstage isn’t how Kris wants to watch Adam, he’s used to it. From here, he can’t see the myriad of expressions Adam is probably making through the song but Kris feels them and he smiles.

Adam is performing for the Maxidrom Festival in Russia and Kris secretly flew in for this daytime show. Enough people know him here to let him backstage for the show. Adam just took off his jacket and Kris can see his arms, a bit shiny from sweat, the side of his face and the brown highlights of his hair.

Adam is hot, sizzling, and Kris knows this but Adam’s appeal is doubled by the stage lights, the profiles they’re creating showing how much of a rockstar Adam has turned out to be.

Kris is in awe, plain and simple. He knows he should close his mouth but it’s a reflex he has when it comes to Adam's god-like talents.

He’s staring at Adam and Tommy's interaction when he feels a hand on his shoulder. A shiver runs through his spine when he turns his head and sees Katy holding on to her Ray-Bans.

"He’s really good, Kris," she whispers, "I think I understand what you see in him."

"What are you doing here, Katy?" inquires Kris. His whole body is itching to run to Adam, wrap him in his arms and take him far away from here, from Katy and everyone who wants to take him from Kris. He wants to lock them both up in a place where these adjusters cannot reach them.

"I wasn’t completely honest with you, Kris," says Katy as she watches Adam walk around the stage, still unaware that he’s about to lose Kris again.

"About what?"

"It's not only your life that will be affected by this relationship but also Adam's," she pauses, stands beside Kris and points at Adam.

“He’s a good singer, an artist dedicated to his medium while fully aware of who he is, what he wants, what he needs and the goals he’s set for himself. He’s meant for greater things. With his talent, Kris, Adam is meant to surpass both Lady Gaga and Bieber and with the support and following he will get, he’ll be able to get all the states in America to legalize same-sex marriage.”

Katy looks at Kris and observes. His eyes are focused solely on the man singing on stage but they’re opened wide. His hands are inside his pockets and his eyebrows are meeting. His breathing is rapid and his stature looks even smaller than it really is.

“Are you—are you making this up to discourage me, Katy? Because I’m telling you, it’s not going to—”

“Let me finish, Kris.”

Kris’s words halt and he straightens his back and looks at her. A small nod later and she continues.

“In staying with you and being with you, all Adam will ever be is wasted material. Instead of surpassing Lady Gaga and Bieber, Danny Gokey will surpass both you and Adam. Adam will be forgotten, thrown into oblivion and all the American states that have legalized same-sex marriages will make them illegal again. Is that what you want Kris? For your country to regress?”

It’s a rhetorical question and Kris knows this but he still shakes his head no.

“That’s what is going to happen if you and Adam stay together. You’ll have each other but not only will you kill your own dreams and fail at the goals you’ve set for yourself, choosing this relationship will lead to his dreams dying too.”

Katy turns away from Kris to gaze back at the stage.

“Think about it, I’m just telling you what I know, Kris. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

Kris doesn’t even bother to follow her movements. He takes a few steps forward to lean against the metal bar that’s part of the stage’s foundation. He leans against it, feeling his whole world crashing down on him and he doesn’t know how to push back. As he turns his face to press his forehead against the cool metal, he listens to Adam singing and breathes, slowly, almost painfully.

 _I want him to get what he’s always dreamed of. I want him happy._

~~~

Kris is still standing quietly and in thought backstage when he feels Adam’s arms around him.

“You’re here, baby,” Adam whispers against Kris’s ear. There’s an answering shiver that runs down Kris’s spine.

“Yeah,” exhales Kris. “ _Surprise!_ ” He exclaims as he turns around to face Adam.

“Miss me that little, huh? All I get is a hug?” jokes Adam.

Kris pitches forward to kiss Adam. Adam’s lips are soft and plump, still a bit slippery from the lip-gloss that Kris is sure he applied before performing. They’re warm and inviting, unaffected by the cold winds around them. Kris lets out a moan as he stays in this moment with his eyes wide open, watching Adam’s face as he kisses him. He needs to see this, remember what Adam looks like as Kris kisses him.

It’s Adam who first pulls back from the kiss, eyes opening and face lighting up with a smile forming on his lips.

“Best surprise ever,” sighs Adam happily and Kris has to turn around to look at the stage so that Adam won’t see his suddenly bright eyes.

~~~

The next day, when Kris and Adam get back to L.A., it’s almost not a surprise to Kris that the media are after them. Adam is completely surprised though and the questions flying at him aren’t even the least bit modest and polite.

 _“Adam, are you really with Kris?”_

 _“Kris, your wife was on a rampage last night. Drunk and swearing about you leaving her for your gay best friend!”_

 _“Adam, how do you feel about Katy calling you a home-wrecker?”_

 _“Kris, have you filed for a divorce?”_

 _“Adam, did you fuck him during Idol?”_

 _“Kris, have you always been gay?”_

Suffice it to say, Lane ushers Kris into the 19E building and Adam into a waiting limousine without a word as they wonder how their whole world turned upside down while they were busy falling for each other.

Kris’s phone vibrates as Lane leads him to a conference room. He gets it out and read the message.

 _Go straight to my house after your meeting. I’m scared… this isn’t how I wanted things to happen but I love you and we can work this out. Miss you already, baby. XOXO_

Kris feels lighter and more sure of himself after reading the message but as he enters the room and sees Katy inside, the small smile that was almost forming on his face disappears.

“ _What did you do, Katy?_ Did you really have to do it?” asks Kris, voice dripping with anguish as his body tries to get as far away from Katy as possible.

“It’s just the tabloids, Kris. I just got ‘drunk’ last night and outed you and Adam to small insignificant tabloids,” drawls Katy. The smirk on her face pushes Kris to want to stay farther away from her, out of this room, miles from this building.

“I—I don’t understand.”

“I can fix this, Kris. You know I can but not everything will be this easy,” Lane says as she includes herself in the conversation. “But now you’ve seen what you can do to Adam’s dreams if you keep thinking only of yourself.”

“Go home to him, Kris and finally do the right thing,” prods Katy.

“I’ll bring you to your car,” declares Lane succinctly.

As Kris exits the office, he dreads what his life has become. Katy clears her throat and he looks back at her as he walks out the door.

“You love him, Kris, and he loves you, but when he doesn’t reach his dreams because he’s with you, do you think he won’t resent you? Do what’s right.”

Kris nods his head at her and faces Lane.

“Could you get the car in, say, half an hour? I just need to write something down and make a few calls,” Kris mumbles.

Lane stares for a long time before she nods her head and points at the adjacent room.

“There’s paper in there and a pen. I’ll come for you when your car’s here, Mr. Allen,” and with that she leaves.

Entering the room, Kris draws an impossible breath. He feels like he’s been gutted and his heart removed. Empty. Grief-stricken. Angry. Depressed. He’s dying and he can’t stop it.

He feels horrible but he’ll do this for love and he’ll do it with all of him, even though he doesn’t know who and what he is without Adam.

~~~

The next morning, Adam wakes up to a bed that smells of Kris, sweat and sex. He loves the smell and he’s so much into the act of smelling that he doesn’t immediately notice that he’s alone.

Without delay, Adam gets out of his bed. The floor’s empty save for his own clothes and the feeling of dread is something he just can’t stop. He races out the room and down the stairs, ready to run after Kris, find him and bring him back, show him that all he needs is right here in this house with Adam.

Instead of finding an empty living room, Adam finds Brad, Sutan, Tommy and Danielle on his couch. There’s an untouched white envelope on the coffee table with his name on it in Kris’s messy handwriting.

“He’s gone again, isn’t he?” inquires Adam to no one in particular, his shoulders slumping as he speaks. He’s staring at the envelope but he can’t move from where he is. He’s just stuck, here, alone in a room full of loved ones, searching for someone who probably doesn’t want to be found.

Danielle rises from the couch, opens her arms and gives him a sad and sympathetic smile.

Adam doesn’t even make it to her; slowly, he collapses to the ground, unbalanced and drowning in the reality that Kris left him again after giving him a few weeks of utter happiness.

Brad and Tommy get up from the couch together and sit on the floor beside Adam, giving him their quiet support. Sutan goes to him last, handing him the letter, the somber look on his face reminding Adam of a time months ago.

“He called for us, baby,” states Brad, answering the question that he’s pretty sure is somewhere in Adam’s head.

“For what?”

“We kinda think that the answer’s in the letter,” says Tommy matter-of-factly, the frown on his face the only sign that he’s angry and disappointed in Kris.

“He was long gone when we arrived, hon, or we would’ve stopped him from leaving,” relates Danielle, reassuring Adam that they’ll always be by his side.

Adam nods at no one in particular and reaches for the envelope. He opens it and reads.

It takes a while before Adam crumples the letter and throws it on the floor as he stands up and heads for the kitchen.

“I need a drink. Or two. Or three. No one’s going to count,” he mutters.

He pauses in the doorway and looks back, still not looking at anyone in particular. Adam finds it harder to focus on anyone without Kris around and it sucks. _I’ll probably just get glasses._

“Burn that, will you? Thanks.”

It’s time for Patrón.

 _Adam,_

 _ ~~I’m sorry~~ ~~I shouldn’t~~ There’s no proper way of doing this. ~~You are beautiful. I’m in awe of you.~~ I’m crap at words but I’m not sorry for what I’ve done. I love you and I can’t make you happy so I called a couple of people who could be what you need them to be ~~, to give you what you needed from me~~._

 _Sutan, to make you feel pretty.  
Tommy, to keep you grounded.  
Brad, to complement your beauty and talent.  
Danielle, to love you unconditionally._

 _They’ll give you what I could never give you. Constancy. Freedom. Attention. I could give you all my love, Adam, but I don’t think that’s enough, not anymore. Don’t look for me. Don’t even think about me. Live and be happy, that’s all I want from you._

 _Kris_

 

 

 _  
**Kris**   
_

Katy hasn’t been around as much as she used to be, not since Kris asked for a divorce and kicked her out of his life. It’s been a year since he left Adam at his house trapped in sheets that smelled of love and sex, on a bed that doesn’t have Kris in it..

Drake and the other Shady Adjusters can’t say Kris is selfish. He’s not. He left Adam. He gave Adam the space to succeed and Adam did, he still is succeeding. He’s surpassed Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber. He’s made a name for himself, not only as a performer but also as a producer and songwriter. Adam’s at the top of his game and still larger than life.

He’s still trying to live without Adam. Kris has tried dating other people, three guys in fact. In the span of a year.

There was Jake. Tall, yes. Kind and funny too, but his eyes were too green and his hair was too brown. Kris had to close his eyes every time they kissed or the green would bother him too much.

After Jake, there was Brent. Freckles all over his face. A nice and welcoming smile but he was shorter than Kris. That didn’t last long. The only time Kris ever relaxed with Brent was when Brent was standing on a step higher than Kris.

After Brent was Zachary. Zachary was tall, had dark hair and blue eyes. He was always dressed in black and he was always made up. Kris thought he finally found someone until he realized that Zach never laughed and it was hard for him to smile. Suffice it to say, they only lasted for three weeks.

He didn’t really know what he was doing. All he can think is that if he dates as many guys as possible, and three is not very many, he will probably find someone close enough to Adam that he can actually have. Like most plans that we don’t think about well enough, this one failed.

“Kris.”

Kris is tired, really, really tired. All he sees these days are Adam-look-alikes. He’s reduced to this, reduced to a successful life but one that makes him unhappy and looking for answers.

“Kris.”

 _They shouldn’t have let us meet. If we weren’t meant to be together, we shouldn’t have met at all. It would have saved us all the heartache, the immense incompleteness grabbing at our souls and making us feel what we lack. Or, well. I hope I’m the only one feeling that. Adam deserves to be happy. He deserves to be blessed with all the things he’s always wished for._

“ _Kris!_ ”

Kris finally realizes that Cale’s been calling him for a while now.

“Yeah?”

“Dude, you’re staring into space again. With your sad and mopey face. What is it?”

Kris lets out a sigh. He doesn’t really have anything to say to that. He’s been like this for days now but today is _the day_. A year ago, he walked out on his greatest love hoping that he was doing them both a favor. He still doesn’t believe that.

“Have you heard about Adam recently?” asks Kris and he sounds hopeful, he knows. It’s the only emotion he can muster whenever he speaks of Adam. When he looks at Cale though and sees his meeting eyebrows and the small frown on his lips, Kris knows something is up.

“What is it, Cale?”

Cale stands up from his perch on the arm of Kris’s couch and heads for the window. He leans his back against it and he looks like he’s battling with himself on whether or not to tell Kris.

“How do you feel about Adam now?” It’s a straightforward question, one that Kris doesn’t expect from Cale and one that Cale never thought he’d ask again.

“I love him,” comes the quiet answer from Kris. He doesn’t falter when he says it but he sounds weak, consenting to the truth because he can’t deny it. He doesn’t know how and he’s never wanted to. His love for Adam flows through his veins, awakens and enlivens him when nothing else can. Denying it would be almost like dying, like forgetting Adam and he couldn’t do that.

“Then you better brace yourself, man,” mumbles Cale as he walks towards Kris and places his iPhone in Kris’s hand. “Breathe slowly. Big gulps of air. Now, read.”

Kris turns the screen towards him and it’s a page of tweets from their friends. The last one’s from Adam.

It turns Kris’s world upside down. He can’t breathe. He’s gasping and his other hand is grabbing at the collar of his shirt. He needs air. This just can’t be but it is. He has enough presence of mind to give Cale back his phone before he stands up and runs for the bathroom. _Goodbye, Chick-Fil-A._

 _@AllisonIraheta: finally doing what’s right! i'll be the flower girl @AdamLambert!_

 _@GoCheeksGo: i'll be the ring bearer, bitchez! say yes @AdamLambert!_

 _@sutanamrull: so sweet! gag! RT @AdamLambert: rakastan! i'm getting married!_

 _@TommyJoeRatliff: congrats babyboy! RT @AdamLambert: rakastan! i'm getting married!_

 _@AdamLambert: rakastan! i'm getting married!_

~~~

 **  
_Adam_   
**

He’s been at the top of the Billboard Top 100 for almost half a year now. He’s selling more than Gaga and Bieber combined, same-sex marriage has just been legalized in California, following the example of New York a few months ago.

There’s no one else he’d rather be than himself right now. He’s been dating Sauli for about the same amount of time he’s been at the top of the charts. The relationship with Sauli is stable and constant; always there to give him the support he needs as he goes through the process of becoming the performer he’s always wanted to be.

He’s known for about three months that his relationship with Sauli can go no further. It’s there and it’s okay, it’s fine. _And maybe that’s all I’m meant to have_ , Adam thinks one day. As a result, he buys Sauli a ring and tells him they’re getting married.

It’s ridiculously too fast and impractical to marry someone he’d never love as much as he loved Kris and yet Adam knows that there will be no other; he’s known since he said yes in that bathroom around a year ago and he’s never denied it since.

 _It doesn’t mean I have to be alone forever_ , argues Adam, trying to fight the side of himself that still hopes for a future with Kris. It’s the side of him that only comes at night, when he’s alone in his room because Sauli insists on partying until dawn. It’s the side of him that lets a tear fall every time he finds himself searching for a crumpled paper in his bedside table.

Sutan, Danielle, Tommy and Brad never got to burning the damned letter and sentimental-Adam has resorted to holding the crumpled paper in his fist before going into a fitful sleep.

Kris loved him. Probably still loves him. Adam doesn’t question Kris’s decision. It was his to make and Adam’s to understand. _I can’t fight for someone who doesn’t see the point of fighting for me,_ reasons Adam.

 _I’m a grown-up. I can choose for myself. I can move on. I can move on. I can move on…_

Adam thinks he feels another tear fall from his eyes. He’s not sure. He’s cried so much already. Counting the teardrops would be pointless.

 

 

Kris has not left the bathroom since he got there. It’s not the best place to lie down but that’s the least of his worries. Cale left hours ago when Kris told him to go away. He knows it’s not right to project his bruised feelings on someone who isn’t even at fault but it’s the only way he thinks he can cope with the news.

His life has been pretty good but Kris will always think his favorite place is in front of a mirror with Adam watching him take off his make-up and lose his tight clothes. Even as Adam transforms into a mess, he still finds him the most beautiful being he’s ever seen. Adam’s everything he’s ever wanted and, back in the Idol Mansion, he thought he could never have.

“It’s probably not safe to lie down on the cold, tiled floor with shards of glass scattered around, honey,” a voice deep enough to only be Sutan’s comes from somewhere about Kris.

“I didn’t have time to clean up the floor after I broke the mirror,” mumbles Kris, no life in his voice.

“That’s seven years of bad luck, you know,” utters Sutan as he crouches down near Kris’s face, his eyebrows mashed together by the worry he’s aching not to convey, too much.

“I’d prefer that over standing in front of it and not seeing Adam anywhere near me.”

The sigh that comes from Sutan is of no help to Kris at all.

“Why are you here?” Kris asks.

“Katy was lying when she said that you couldn’t make Adam happy,” Sutan states as he stands upright and uses his foot to move a large shard of glass so he can sit beside Kris.

“Then why do they care so much?” inquires Kris brokenly.

The answer is now almost instant to Sutan.

“Because Adam’s enough, Kris. When you have him, you don’t look for ways to help other people and you don’t write sad songs about heartache and loss, which you’re good at, by the way. You don’t look for ways to make a difference for others anymore. That’s important too but it’s not all that matters and it’s not all there is.”

“Why do you care so much?”

Sutan pulls his knees up and uses his hands to cover his face. It’s the shyest look Kris has ever seen on him, it’s as if he’s ashamed by his own existence.

“Adam’s dad, Eber, he was a very kind and loving husband to Leila and I did almost everything I could to fix them but in the end I couldn’t and it broke Adam. I just couldn’t take how much pain I’ve caused in not being able to fix things for him and Neil, so I’m trying my hardest now to at least ensure that he’s really happy.”

Kris opens his eyes and reaches his hand forward to touch Sutan’s knee, offering as much comfort as he can muster.

“You know it’s not your fault, right? It’s not your fault that they weren’t able to fix things. That some relationships, no matter how much work you put into them just have to end.”

“Is that how you feel about your relationship with Adam, Kris?” Sutan asks as he pulls his head up and looks straight into Kris’s eyes.

“Nah, for something to end, it has to start first, right?” his voice almost hopeful, the edges of his lips rising as if he feels like smiling.

“What about before Russia? What do you call that?”

“I call it getting to know each other again. Remembering why we even want this so much in the first place.”

“And before you left him? You slept with him right? Still not a relationship for you, honey?”

“Hmm, let’s call it a false start?”

“Does that mean what I hope it means?”

“Which is what?”

“That you’re going to try and find a way to get him back?”

Kris looks away from Sutan, staring at where his mirror used to be.

“Is he really happy, Sutan?”

The silence from Sutan helps Kris, gives him the confidence he needs to push through with the plan he’s making in his head.

“Is he happy?” Kris repeats.

“Katy wouldn’t let you, you know. She’d find you in a snap,” his companion says, ever the realist.

“What if—what if I moved as fast as someone like you? Someone who had the power of the sunglasses?”

Sutan’s deep giggle is both disconcerting and lovely to Kris’s ears.

“Really Kristopher? Why so corny, baby?”

“I need you serious right now, Sutan!” but Kris is grinning now, his will to live strengthened by the possibility of seeing and touching Adam again.

“The rain will be gone in about an hour. We need to get wet,” states Sutan.

“Sutan, you know I only swing that way for Adam right?” jokes Kris.

“Didn’t know you had it in you, Kristopher Neil. Now come on, hold my hand,” holding his hand out to Kris.

“I just said you didn’t do it for me,” his own hand already reaching for Sutan’s.

“Stop being difficult and come on! Hold onto my hand and don’t let go until we’re on the other side of the door.”

“I now have an instant reaction to sunglasses. Every time I see anyone wearing a pair, I feel like running for my dear life. Must you wear them all the time?” wonders Kris as he and Sutan prepare to walk into the next room.

“Why, of course, baby. It’s how we get our powers. Always turn the knob to the right, turning it to the left is only for people like me, get it?”

Kris holds onto Sutan as they step through the door. His grip is calm and relaxed but sure and confident. Love was never really the issue for him and the only thing that worked against his will to make Adam happy was his fear of never being able to.

Who would have thought that instead of a green ring, all Kris would ever need were a pair of Ray-Bans from a very beautiful and caring drag queen?

 

 

“He’s not onstage yet, Kristopher Neil,” drawls Tommy at a visibly tired and sweaty Kris Allen, the annoyance in his voice barely reflected on his face. He doesn’t seem mad but his stance is protective and ready.

“Where is he, Tommy?” Kris inquires, breathing heavily.

Tommy is leaning against the studio entrance. Adam and Sauli are getting married on the Idol Stage and looking at the entrance itself, Kris wants to throw a tantrum, scream and lash out at anyone near. This stage belongs to him and Adam. This is symbolically where they met, where they fell in love and where they reconnected when Kris broke them. This place is theirs and for Adam and Sauli to get married here… it’s heartbreaking.

“Sauli’s inside, waiting for Adam. Adam’s content with him, Kris, and Sauli never left him,” relates Tommy, pausing as he crowds into Kris’s personal space and looking him in the eyes, “but we all know that Adam doesn’t love him, not like he loves you.”

Tommy doesn’t say anything after that but his raised eyebrow is imploring Kris for an answer to the unspoken question. _What are you doing here?_

“I need to speak to him, Tommy…please let me speak to him,” Kris begs.

Tommy’s stare unsettles Kris. He feels as if Tommy’s found his journal and is proceeding to read it, read him. His feelings aren’t a secret though and he opens himself up, relaxes under Tommy’s gaze and lets him see.

“Remember when Adam performed on Idol more than a year ago? When you apparently appeared and disappeared within a night?”

Kris nods silently, his heart breaking even more as he remembers how he left Adam waiting for nothing all those months ago.

“He’s in the Green Room where he found you that night. Go to him.”

Kris rushes forward towards Tommy, engulfing him in a hug.

“Thanks, Tommy Joe,” whispers Kris.

“Just don’t hurt him again, Kris.”

As Tommy watches Kris leave, an arm wraps itself on his shoulder.

“Thanks for giving him another chance, hun,” Raja murmurs against Tommy’s hair.

“Anytime, baby,” says Tommy as he leans his head against the other man’s shoulder.

~~~

“I’m so sorry, Adam,” says Kris, walking into the bathroom.

“Go away, Kris,” murmurs, turning to face him.

“You are not marrying Sauli,” starts Kris and Adam is murmuring to himself, his lips trembling and his eyes turning glassy as each moment passes.

“No, no you can’t—can’t be here… I… I don’t want you here, you’re—you should—,” the tears finally flow down Adam’s face.

“I’m so sorry, Adam. I really am but I love you—and you love me and you can’t—you’re not supposed to be marrying him.” Kris musters as he finally gets to Adam, his hand touching Adam’s arm.

A look of complete anguish passes through Adam’s face before he pushes Kris away.

“Don’t touch me!”

Adam steps away from Kris, his coat billowing. He’s wearing the costume he used for GlamNation, the one he uses for when he sings _Sleepwalker_ and the meaning behind it hits Kris like a ton of bricks.

In one of their nighttime talks before Katy ruined everything and made Kris choose between a relationship or Adam’s happiness, Adam told Kris about how _Sleepwalker_ used to be his song for Kris. It was about how Adam felt like he was living with his eyes closed, walking around and performing, being Adam Lambert but he was only sleepwalking, believing a dream where his life was filled with Kris when it really wasn’t—and now, Adam’s sleepwalking again. Dreaming of probably marrying Kris while in reality marrying Sauli because that’s who he believes he can have.

“You can’t marry him. I’ve been an ass for leaving you multiple times and I’m sorry. I want to make up for it. I need you to know that I love you, Adam, please—”

“What’re you doing, Kris? You can’t ask things from me when you were _the one who left_. You left me! You keep saying you love me and then you leave and each time—” Adam stops speaking and breathes heavily, his teeth grinding together as if he were in pain.

“Brad didn’t even hurt me as much as you did, Kris! He left me once and he let me get over it before he even tried to be friends with me again. _You don’t let me do that, Kris!_ ”

“I know and I’m sorry for that, Adam, but I—”

“Kris, you let me believe that we were going to fight for us and then you leave me on a bed that smells of you in a house without you in it.” Adam turns away from Kris. “In a house that you filled with people you thought could make me happy.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you, Adam, but I had to leave and—”

The door opens suddenly, a tall, blonde man entering. As Kris sees the sunglasses he’s sporting, he proceeds to knock the man unconscious.

“What the fuck are you doing, Kris?” shrieks Adam.

“Don’t mind him, Adam, he’s one of them,” Kris says almost comically, his eyes widening with something akin to fear and worry. He goes towards the blonde man and bends down to pick up the notebook that fell when Kris punched him on the face.

“This, Adam, this says that you love me and that I love you,” explains Kris, showing Adam the notebook. “This also says that we’re not meant to be together—”

“I don’t understand, Kris.”

“—but all I know is that I love you, Adam, and that I want to spend all the time I have left to be with you because being with you, even though you’re angry at me, makes me happier than being without you.”

Kris goes towards the door, his hands trembling but firm as they secure the door.

 _Katy, your ex-husband just revealed us._

 _Call for the intervention team and tell them that they’re to reset him._

“Why are they chasing after you, Kris?”

Kris turns to look at Adam, his body’s tension relaxing, almost softening under Adam’s inspection.

“They’re going to reset me.”

“What are you talking about, Kris? You must know that right now, you sound like a Gokey song turned up on high volume.”

“Excessive and not classy at all?”

The small smile that Adam gives him is a breath of fresh air for Kris and it gives him strength to tell Adam the truth.

“Adam, you must know that I never lied to you about how I felt, how I still feel. I’ve loved you since Idol and I haven’t stopped.”

Kris fishes out the pair of sunglasses Sutan loaned him with his right hand as he holds onto Adam’s hand. Relief and pleasure travels through his hand and towards his heart at the first touch of his skin towards Adam.

“I’m going to show you something and I think you have the right to know about this.”

Adam holds tightly onto Kris’s hand and goes through the door with Kris.

 _Staples Center_

 _Hollywood Boulevard_

Adam halts as Kris pulls him mid-run.

“What is happening, Kris? _What is happening?_ ”

“You have to understand that we’re being chased, Adam,” exclaims Kris, still pulling at Adam’s hand.

“What’s happening to me? Where are we going?” Adam’s breathing hard and he wants to stop running and understand.

“Adam, baby, I need you to trust me, please,” begs Kris. Adam hears the need in Kris’s voice and continues running.

 _Sleeping Beauty’s Castle_

“ _Kris! Kris!_ What’s happening, Kris? How did we do that?” Adam has a hand in his hair, pulling at the strands while staring at the illuminated castle. “We were in Hollywood and now we’re in Anaheim—how did we do that, Kris?”

The loss of Kris's hand in his disorients Adam. He doesn't feel grounded and he doesn't feel sane. Without Kris touching him, Adam feels lost and he panics. The children surrounding Adam are looking at him, confused at having to watch a man yell for his friend in fear and confusion while in such a happy place.

Kris runs back to him and pries his hands out of his hair.

“I’m sorry, baby, I’m here,” soothes Kris while slowly pulling Adam away from the crowd and into a hidden alcove near the entrance of the castle.

“ _What the hell is going on, Kris?_ ”

“We’re going through doors that are used by the people who don’t want us together, Adam.”

“Who are they? Why don’t they want me to be with you?”

“They made me stay away from you. They had Katy go public with information about us. That was them, Adam.”

Adam stays silent, staring at Kris and trying to convey what he couldn’t say before.

“I don’t know why they think I’m not, but I’m meant for you, Adam. I can make you happy. I can prove them wrong.”

Kris resumes looking for another door.

“You do make me happy, Kris. How could they have made you believe you couldn’t?”

“Everything you worked for and are working for, Adam, you lose it if you choose me. I can’t let that happen, baby,” whispers Kris, unsure of himself and what he’s done all of a sudden.

Adam engulfs Kris in a hug. This isn’t the best place for them or the best time but at this moment Adam knows that he can’t go against this, them, because he sees that as much as Kris has hurt him, everything he’s done is because he believed that he was making Adam happy, even if it hurt him.

Adam cups Kris’s face with both of his hands, tilting Kris’s head up so that he can look right into his eyes.

“We’re Kradam, Kris. Together, we can do anything,” Adam whispers.

Kris is silent for a moment. His thoughts aren’t very clear but he knows that there’s only one thing they can do. Sadly, he reaches up to pull Adam’s hands away from his face.

“Come with me, Adam,” murmurs Kris.

Adam’s unsure. He continues to look at Kris.

“Or I can go into the door I found and you’ll never see me again,” and it’s a low blow but Kris needs to push Adam, make him see how things could be.

“I don’t know where this door will lead us or if it will even help us but I know that if I enter it with you by my side, I’ll have everything I ever wanted, Adam.”

Adam raises an eyebrow, “Entering with me, Kris? That’s what you want? I never thought you’d be one for double penetration,” he kids and the air is not so tense anymore. The smirk on his lips coupled with the grin that forms on Kris’s face makes the moment mean a lot to both of them.

Kris holds his hand out to Adam and Adam grips it, pulls it towards him and twines their fingers together. It’s a simple act, holding hands, but for Kris and Adam who’ve never had much opportunity for it, it’s heavenly.

“Let’s go,” Adam says and with a nod, Kris turns the knob to the left and enters with Adam.

~~~

“You didn’t think you’d find the Chairman here, did you?” asks Katy, her eyebrow rising as she examines both Kris and Adam.

“I had to, Katy, Adam’s worth it,” states Kris as he steps forward and in front of Adam, protective stance showing Katy that her ex-husband is ready to do anything for the man he so decidedly loves with all his heart.

“My ex-husband… _finally_ learning to fight for what he wants. _Why Adam, how did you make him do it?_ ” she asks, facing the one man that she knew could ruin her life from the start.

 _Sutan, the chairman has asked for you._

“All I did was love him, Katy,” whispers Adam as he silently holds onto Kris’s hand.

Kris’s heart almost skips a beat when he hears this. It’s the first time he’s heard Adam say anything about how he really feels about Kris. It’s all Kris has ever needed since the whole debacle started, to know that he has something to hold onto and to see Adam fighting with him at last.

Kris can’t hold back the smile that spreads on his lips even in a situation where he’s facing the possibility of being reset. He’s happy to know that Adam loves him back and that he’s willing to stand with him through everything.

“ _Ha!_ As if that could do anything to stop Kris from being reset,” Katy drawls as a cold smile forms on her lips. She’s about to continue speaking when she feels a tap on her shoulder.

“ _Sutan!_ Thank God, a person I actually know,” says Adam lightly.

“I have a message from the chairman, Ms. O’ Connell,” Sutan informs Katy, handing her an envelope. She reaches for it and pulls out its contents, reading the pieces of white paper.

“Thank you, Sutan,” Katy politely murmurs, returning the papers to the case.

She turns back to Adam and Kris, looking somber and sorry.

“For the record, Kris, I really did love you,” she starts, stepping towards Kris and touching his arm, “and I actually really liked you, Adam,” touching the taller man’s arm as well.

With all the dignity she can muster, she leaves the room.

Adam and Kris are left looking blankly at Sutan, wondering if the Chairman really is looking after them.

Adam is the first one who ends the silence.

“How did this happen, Kris? Why did Katy suddenly stop?”

“Even Ms. Katy has a boss, Adam,” says Sutan in an almost sing-song voice.

“You, Sutan? You’re the Chairman?” wonders Kris, staring at the man who has helped him countless times.

Sutan lets out a girlish giggle, the depth of his voice almost unnerving.

“Baby, no, but you and Adam, you’ve probably met the Chairman,” relates Sutan. “The Chairman looks different to everyone, helps everyone in ways that only he or she can know a person needs.”

“And is that it? Is that all? Was he…she testing me and Kris? Looking to see if our love was real or something?”

“It was a test—it’s always a test for everyone, you, Kris and even all of us _Shady Adjusters_ , as you put it, Kris,” Sutan explains, walking to the mirror and smudging his eyeliner a bit more.

“Kris, honey, you did everything you knew to do to make Adam happy, even if it meant a lack of your own happiness. While you, Adam, baby, you allowed yourself to be hurt so many times and you still believe in this, in you and Kris.”

Sutan faces the couple, walks over to them and reaches for their hands.

“You showed the adjusters and everyone else that you were both willing to fight for this, for your love, and you inspired the chairman to give you a chance at a relationship.”

“The papers,” murmurs Kris, “are those about us?”

“Yeah, the chairman wrote that yours and Adam’s story is not part of the plan and so she rewrote the plan for both of you,” Sutan smirks, showing Kris and Adam the papers they barely understand.

“You can both finally have a go at it, darlings; you can finally fall in love in peace,” Sutan puts on his sunglasses. “Ta-ta, lovelies, you can turn off the lights on your way out. I’m going partying.”

As is almost usual with Sutan, he opens a door to the side and disappears.

“Onto our life, finally, baby?” Adam simpers at Kris.

“Don’t I get a kiss first, darling?” jokes Kris.

“Oh, but the last time we kissed, I woke up alone on a bed,” whispers Adam, lips heating Kris’s ear with his breath.

Kris shivers, holding onto Adam’s face and pulling his lips towards Kris’s own.

“This time, unless we’re on tour apart, you’ll wake up with me on your bed. _Every. Single. Time,_ ” says Kris, his words punctuated by each kiss he gives Adam.

“ _At last…_ ”

 

 **  
_Epilogue_   
**

It’s almost amazing how things turn out right even when you’ve lost your belief in the good things in life, in any good at all. Sometimes, all you need is to believe in your own power to get what you want. Other times, you just have to look at what’s right in front of you to see that two people can actually be together and love each other through any obstacle that they face.

That is exactly what happened for Adam and Kris. The Chairman refused to see how good they could be for each other because she believed in a greater good, in a tangible good, and for an instant, she forgot that sometimes all you really need is love to conquer the world, to conquer fate.

Watching Kris and Adam now, walking out of the studio, hand-in -hand with smiles on their faces, the Chairman feels rejuvenated, fresh and open to the ideas of the world that she is in charge of now. She just needed a reminder that they could do it, that their love, like any other love, could exist happily in the here and now.

“A job well done, don’t you think?” Lane says from behind her.

“We really did give it our all, didn’t we?” Drake quips grudgingly.

“What’s our next case, Chairman?” Katy primly asks.

“Now, we go on a break—for Katy to understand, for Drake to rest and for Lane to work,” the Chairman says, her boyish voice reverberating through the room.

“And me, Chairman, what do I do while they’re all out?” Sutan wonders.

“You, Sutan, are going to help me with my hair since I’m getting a bit sick of it being long and red. What do you think of short black hair for me?” inquires the Chairman, turning towards her group of adjusters.

“Oh, Allison baby, I think you’d be lovely!”

“Let’s go, _amigos_!” growls Allison playfully.

Donning their sunglasses, the _Shady Adjusters_ disperse, onto their next adventure.

 **END**


End file.
